Английский - простой, но очень трудный язык. Он состоит из одних иностранных слов, которые к тому же неправильно произносятся.
Toasts, Graffiti, Conundrums
Toasts
"May the right person say the right thing
To the right person in the right way.
At the right time, in the right place."
* * *
"May corruption be chained.
And truth maintained."
* * *
"Here's to woman!
Would that we could fall into herarms without falling into her hands."
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
Graffitti
I'm troubled by a superiority complex: it belongs to my boss.
* * *
It's easy to spot a fool unless he's hidding inside you.
* * *
Does an apple a day still keep the doctor away?
* * *
Things are not as bad as they seem... They're worse.
* * *
Love: Two minus one equals nothing.
* * *
The bad thing about a popular song is that it makes a lot of people think they can sing.
* * *
Wonder drug: After hearing cost of the prescription, you wonder how people pay for it.
* * *
The hardest part about getting to the top of the mountain is getting through the mob at the bottom.
Conundrums - загадки; головоломки
What is the difference between a watchmaker and a jailer?
(The one sells watches and the other watches cells)
* * *
What is the longest word in the English language?
(Smiles, because there is a mile between the first and the last letter).
* * *
Why are rainbows similar to policemen?
(Both appear after the storm is over).
* * *
What is that a poor man has and a rich man wants?
(Nothing).
* * *
What key is the best for unlocking the tongue?
(Whiskey).
* * *
When is the door not a door?
(When it is ajar).
* * *
What is that which one can keep, after giving it to someone else?
(One's word).
* * *
What ship do people like best of all?
(Courtship).
* * *
What will become if you strip majesty of its exteriors: the first and the last letters?
(It becomes "A jest")
* * *
Why should a man never tell his secrets in a corn field?
(Because it has so many ears).
* * *
Why is a crow a brave bird?
(He never shows a white feather).
* * *
Why is dough like the sun?
(When it rises it is light).
* * *
When is coffee like the soil?
(When it is ground).
* * *
What happens to liars when they die?
(They lie still).
* * *
Which is the strongest day of the week?
(Sunday, because the other days are week days).
* * *
Which travels faster - heat or cold?
(Heat, becausr one can catch cold easily).
* * *
Why ia a proud man (woman) like a music book?
(Because he (she) is full of airs).
* * *
What is the difference between a tree and an aircraft?
(One sheds its leaves and the other leaves its shed).
* * *
What is it? The greater it is? the less it can be seen.
(Darkness).
* * *
Can February March?
(No, but April May).
* * *